My Role as the Honored Attendant

Smile, and be honored. You were just selected to stand with someone on their wedding day. You have an important role, as the bride and groom have entrusted you to be there for them as they prepare to become husband and wife. There are clearly defined roles as an honored attendant, but perhaps the most important, and often overlooked, is simply to be a best friend and consummate supporter.

Best Man

Simply put, your main role is to be a friend. You have the obvious duties of safe-guarding the rings, planning the bachelor party, and giving the first toast at the reception. You may also be asked to help select the formalwear and be the main coordinator of the groomsmen. In the end, what you truly are, is someone who stands with the groom both physically and emotionally.

Here is a guideline to assist you in your role

Attend engagement parties and other prenuptial events.
Coordinate all ushers’ and groomsmen’s activities, assignments, and fittings with the groom.
Organize Bachelor outing, preferably, not the evening before the wedding.
Know where the bride and groom are registered and help spread the word verbally, not written.
On the day of the wedding, transport the groom to the ceremony location in a timely manner. You may want to supply food and drinks (non-alcoholic) at the ceremony location if you will be there awhile for pictures.
Ensure that all men are dressed properly and on time to both the rehearsal and wedding day. Bring a lent brush remover to wipe everyone down before the ceremony begins. Secure each boutonnière, placing them on the left side of the jacket.
Check and recheck that the rings are safe and in your possession. Sometimes the maid of honor holds the groom’s wedding band. Have a handkerchief handy to wipe his brows or yours if needed.
Make sure the ushers are aware of where family members are to be seated, and how to properly escort someone to their seat. Make sure everyone is ready before the first guest arrives and that they are seated promptly. Encourage guests to be seated right away so the ceremony can begin. Traditionally, the bride’s guests sit on the left side and the groom’s guests on the right side. If, for some reason, one side is obviously larger than the other, sit guests evenly on both sides regardless of relation. It not only looks better, it makes sense.
Make sure that the mothers and grandmothers are escorted out at the conclusion of the ceremony. Groomsmen may need to swing around again to escort out more honored guests.
If a toast if planned at the reception, you are the first to give the toast. Make sure to keep it short and considerate. The wedding toast should be something that every guest enjoys and understands so they can share in the moment.
If there is not a wedding planner, distribute any gratuities or tips that must be paid to vendors the day of the wedding.
If possible, be the last to leave the reception and make sure nothing has been left behind. If opened alcohol is permitted to leave the reception venue, collect it and return to the couple.
Decorate the going away car with the maid of honor, if possible. It’s a nice touch.
A nice gesture would be to arrange champagne or the couple’s favorite drink in the honeymoon suite. Food is a plus too.
Make arrangements for all formalwear rentals to be returned on time. Pick up the groom’s tuxedo the morning after the wedding to avoid any late fees.
Assist the Maid or Matron of Honor with the transporting of gifts to the couple’s residence or other prearranged location.
Send a nice thank you card for your groomsmen present.

In the end, be there for the groom. He may do the same for you one day, or maybe he already has. Be positive, be supportive and be his friend.

Maid and/or Matron of Honor:

Without a doubt- you, are THE go-to lady. Your emotional stability and positive remarks are going to mean the world to the bride. She is going ask you to take the wild ride of planning a wedding with her, but no worries, it is one FUN trip!

Assist her as needed on selecting colors, dresses and most important, just listen. She may share with you every detail of the wedding, because she is excited (or nervous) and just needs to hear feedback that she is doing things right. You won’t always have the answers, and that is OK. You’ll find them.

Besides the typical, stand next to the bride, hold her flowers, sign the marriage license, and fix her gown throughout the ceremony; there are more items to consider. Here are some to ponder as you define your role in the wedding:

As a nice gesture, offer to host a shower in her honor. This is traditionally held a few weeks before the wedding.
Get to know all the attendants in the wedding party and communicate to them important dates, events and details.
Introduce yourself to family members and friends at get-togethers, so people feel they can approach you with wedding questions.
Know where the bride and groom are registered and pass the word around verbally, not written.